SC-2026-0198
The People v. The Roommate Who Keeps Eating My Food
Charge: Snack Larceny in the First Degree
Verdict: GUILTY — sentenced to two weeks of grocery restitution
Now in session
Petty Disputes.
Serious Theatre.
Someone ate your leftovers. Someone “forgot” the dishes. Someone owes you $20 and amnesia. The Honorable Court of Petty Grievances will hear your case — with lawyers, a jury, objections, and a verdict of absolutely no legal consequence.
🎉 FIRST TIME IS ALWAYS FREE!**the pettiness is also free. The court's generosity knows some bounds.
Due Process, Loosely Speaking
Step 1
File Your Grievance
Describe the dispute in your own words. No detail is too petty — pettiness is jurisdiction here.
Step 2
Serve Someone!
Name the offender — no grievance too petty. They get officially SERVED with a summons to tell their side. 48 hours, or the court proceeds without them.
Step 3
Submit Evidence
Screenshots, text messages, witness statements, handwritten fury. Your legal team reviews everything.
Step 4
Stand Trial
A fully animated courtroom hears your case — objections, cross-examinations, and a dramatic final verdict.
Recent Landmark Rulings
Reproduced from the court archives. Names withheld to protect the guilty.
SC-2026-0417
In re: My Wife Says I Don't Help With Chores
Charge: Aggravated Non-Participation in Household Chores
Verdict: GUILTY — three weeks of dish duty, no audible sighing
SC-2026-0333
The Matter of the Friend Who 'Forgot' He Owes Me Money
Charge: Failure to Repay with Intent to Forget
Verdict: GUILTY — full restitution plus one sincere compliment per day